Three reasons why we might feel anxious after a good night’s sleep

When a person struggles with insomnia and sleep anxiety, they may experience the following – even after a good night, they still feel anxious. In some cases, anxiety might even grow compared to the night when they didn’t sleep well.

We’d think that the answer to insomnia is more sleep, but it’s not quite true. The amount of sleep doesn’t matter as much as how we relate to the good and bad nights.

In this article, I’m going to share my thoughts on why we sometimes feel more anxious after a night of good sleep and, of course, how to move forward.

Reason 1. As sleep came, there was something to lose again

Insomnia usually comes from the fear of losing sleep, and once we get what we want, we naturally don’t want to lose it. We feel anxious about losing it. This makes us want to do something to protect that result. And since insomnia thrives on pressure and control around sleep, the more we try to hold on to better nights, the less sleep we tend to get.

Antidote. Realize that you didn’t lose the ability to sleep, even though you experience insomnia. Don’t treat better nights as an achievement or victory, but as evidence of your innate ability to sleep. It’s natural for us to treat the good nights as precious and fragile, but that creates a high-stakes situation when we actually get them. Instead of “Oh my god, I finally slept! Yay!” try to shift your reaction to a more neutral one: “Of course I slept – my body still knows how to do that.”

Reason 2. We can’t put our finger on what “worked” last night

The brain always tries to find connections. This is how it makes sense of the world. And because it now tries to problem-solve sleep (it is wired to do so in uncertain situations), it wants to understand which actions led us to a good night. But oftentimes sleep comes “out of nowhere,” which makes it so difficult to find any connection. In other words, we feel puzzled, frustrated, or worried because we can’t figure out what we did right and we don’t know how to recreate that result.

Antidote. Understand that there is nothing out there that can produce sleep. No substance, no ritual, no thought or mindset. Sleep is a function that is executed by our bodies. We have no conscious control there. This is why we can’t figure out what worked… because nothing “worked”! Nothing is supposed to “work.” Sleep comes on its own without us needing to do anything. Realizing that no effort created that better night and that there’s nothing to figure out can lift the pressure of having to have the answer.

Reason 3. You feel the need to continue the battle

This might be an unexpected one, but sometimes we feel so tired of all that fighting with insomnia that we decide to give up… and that’s the night when sleep happens! After fully surrendering, we realize that after we slept better, we have to keep the battle going – and it might make us more anxious.

Antidote. Accept the possibility that that sleep happened easier because you abandoned the fight. Not because you somehow ‘won’ the fight. Insomnia is a game we can’t win by playing, since the mere win-lose mindset is what keeps insomnia running.

Feeling stuck on your recovery path? I’ve been there. And I know that you can get through this, too. If you need support and gentle guidance, become a member of the Fearless Sleep Library community or book an individual call.